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最好的说话之道，不是学习怎么说话，而是……

索达吉堪布国际佛学网 2018-08-24

做人要厚道

Try to be an honest and kind person

你用语言竭尽所能地伤害别人，只会让自己越来越残忍，

The more you harm others with harsh words, the more hateful you will become,

这种残忍所散发出来的气场，

and you will emit an unpleasant air around you.

会让你在人生中越走越艰难。

Your journey in life will become more difficult because of it.

有些人骂人、挖苦人特别刻薄，什么话都说得出口。

Some people have a predilection to criticize others with extremely nasty words.

无论对任何现象、任何事，他们动不动就破口大骂，不管有没有弄清真相，总之自己先骂了再说。

They are irascible under all circumstances and tend to spew verbal abuse without bothering to check the facts. Their motto is to open fire first; other things can be dealt with later.

尤其是现在的网络语言暴力，有日益严重的趋势。

Particularly nowadays, the use of abusive language on the Internet has become more pervasive.

有些人整天在网上骂人，甚至把它视为一种享受和职业。

Some people indulge in web carnage all day long and even consider it their privilege and calling.

当然，想说什么，是你的自由，

Granted, you’re free to say whatever you feel like.

但你用语言竭尽所能地伤害别人，只会让自己越来越残忍，

But the more you harm others verbally, the more hateful you become,

这种残忍所散发出来的气场，会让你在人生中越走越艰难。

and you will emit an unpleasant air around you. Your journey in life will become more difficult because of it.

诚如憨山大师所言：“惹祸只因闲口舌，招愆多为狠心肠。”

The Venerable Hanshan said, “Loose talk precipitates misfortune; malicious intent produces calamities.”

明朝汉洲有位王生，喜欢指责他人的过失。

During the Ming Dynasty, a person named Wang Sheng in Hanzhou had a penchant for criticizing others’ faults.

邻居死了儿子，他呵斥道：“因为你造恶深重，所以有这种果报。”

When his neighbor’s son died, he said with reproach, “You must have committed evil sins, that’s why you’re meeting this fate.”

但不久，他的两个孩子都病死了，邻居反讥他：“你造恶是不是更深重呢？”

Not long after, Wang Sheng’s two sons died, and his neighbor rebuked, “Mister, doesn’t this imply that you have committed even grimmer sins than I?”

又有一次，他的族兄考试名列四等，

At another time, one of his relatives took an exam and scored in fourth place.

王生指责说：“你文章写得实在荒谬，怎么可能有好成绩呢？”

Wang Sheng chided, “You’ve written something ludicrous; there is no way you could have scored better.”

不到一年，他自己考试名列五等，

In less than a year, Wang Sheng took the exam himself and was ranked fifth,

族兄讽刺他：“兄弟的文章是不是更荒谬呢？”

and his relative sneered at him, “There we go, brother. Does this mean you’ve written something even more foolish than I?”

可见，骂人者常被人骂，责人者常被人责。

It’s obvious that the one who scolds gets scolded and the one who criticizes gets criticized.

我们在指责别人的同时，也要先看看自己是不是完人。

Before we condemn others, first check to see if we ourselves are faultless.

倘若自己过失满身，又有什么资格对人家挑三拣四？

Should we find ourselves rife with shortcomings, how could we be qualified to censure others?

从前有个老秀才，天性尖酸刻薄，

Long ago there lived an old scholar with a mean, sarcastic disposition.

凡是好人好事，都要刻意从中挑剔谩骂，故而得了个“赛商鞅”之名。

No one’s good deeds or decency were spared from his sharp criticism or purposeful belittling—which earned him the nickname “Sai Shang Yang,” the Rival of Shang Yang. *

翰林院编修钱敦堂先生死后，他的门生为其筹措款项，置办衾棺，料理丧事，并赡养抚恤他的妻儿子女，事事办得周全妥贴。

At that time, a scholar named Chien Duntang was a member of the Imperial Academy. When he passed away, his students dutifully and properly helped out in many activities. They raised funds for a burial robe and coffin, arranged the funeral, and secured pensions for his bereaved family.

赛商鞅却说：“世间哪有这么好心的人！

Hearing this, Sai Shang Yang smirked, “Their devotion is too good to be true.

他们分明是借机沽名钓誉，好博得人家称他们有古道心肠，让显要人物知道他们的名声，将来想攀附钻营就容易了。”

Apparently, they are just doing this for attention so they will be praised as kindhearted people. Should they succeed in impressing the dignitaries, they will have smooth sailing toward power and fame in the future.”

有一位贫民，他的母亲病死于路旁。这位贫民跪在母亲的遗体旁，向路人乞钱买棺，以安葬母亲。

A pauper lost his mother from illness. Kneeling next to his mother’s corpse on the roadside, this person begged passersby for alms to bury his mother.

他面容憔悴，形体枯槁，声音酸楚悲哀，很多人为之泪下，纷纷施舍给他钱物。

His miserable pleading and extremely haggard looks touched people’s hearts, filling their eyes with tears. Many willingly offered him money and goods.

赛商鞅说：“这人是借尸发财！

Sai Shang Yang commented, “This is a plot to extort money by using a corpse!

那躺在地上的，是不是他妈还不知道呢！

Who knows if the one lying on the dirt is even his mother?

什么大孝子？骗得了别人，可骗不了我！”

And he is called a dutiful son! Well, he can trick others. But never me!”

又有一次，赛商鞅路经一座表彰节妇的牌坊，

Once, Sai Shang Yang passed by a Chastity Memorial Archway,†

抬头看了一阵碑文后，就嘲笑说：“这位夫人生前富贵，家里奴仆众多，难道就没有像秦宫、冯子都那种人？

and after reading the inscriptions, he mocked them, “This madam came from a prosperous family and must have had many attendants and servants. Can we say for sure that she had no lovers?

这事得加以查核，我不敢断定她不是节妇，但也不敢说她肯定就是。”

It’s better to investigate this matter further. Although I can’t affirm that she remained chaste, neither can I affirm she did not.”

赛商鞅平生所操的论调，都是这样尖酸刻薄，

Sai Shang Yang’s spiteful tongue always sounded so acerbic and cutting.

所以人们都讨厌他、回避他，也没人敢请他教书。

People despised and avoided him and no one would dare to hire him as a tutor.

因此，他一辈子不得志，终于贫困潦倒而死。

All through life, he was unhappy and frustrated, and in the end, he died in poverty and disgrace.

这位老秀才，平生倒没有做过什么大的罪恶，

This old scholar had not committed grave sins in life,

但他总要显示自己的见识高人一等，不知不觉走到了这种悲惨的地步，

yet his propensity to flaunt his presumed intellect led him to a dire demise.

每个人怎可不引以为戒？

Isn’t his life story a warning to us all!

要知道，一句话会伤天地和气，一件事会酿成终身祸患。

Remember, a mere word can damage the harmony of the universe, and a single incident can cause lifelong catastrophes.

我们平时说话时，一定要心存厚道、口下留情，不能想什么就说什么。

Let us maintain a truthful and kind heart. Let us hold our tongues and refrain from spitting out words thoughtlessly.

现在有些人为了与人交往游刃有余，特别喜欢钻研说话之道。

Nowadays, people want to master skills in personal interactions and are eager to practice the art of speaking.

但实际上，最好的说话之道，不是学习怎么说话，而是学习怎么做人。

In reality, the best way to communicate is not to learn the techniques of conversing, but to cultivate the ways of becoming a decent person.

人要是善良、诚恳，就算语言拙笨一点，大家也会喜欢你；

Sincere, truthful people are usually well liked, even if they may be clumsy in speech.

如果心肠不好，嘴巴就算再会说，别人被蒙骗得了一时，也不会被蒙骗一世。

Mean-spirited people, on the other hand, may be able to get by with their sweet talk for a short while, but not for long.

做人，厚道吧！

How should we behave ourselves? Being kind and honest is the way!

* “Sai” is a Chinese word meaning surpassing, rivaling, or on par with. “Shang Yang” is the name of a renowned ancient statesman in Chinese history. “Sai Shang Yang” thus is a nickname given to someone presumably surpassing or having equal qualities as the statesman Shang Yang.

† “Chastity Memorial Arch” is the symbol of Chinese culture that praises a woman’s chastity in ancient China. It is often built as a wooden or stone archway that commemorates those who have maintained loyalty to their deceased husbands by remaining unmarried till death.

索达吉堪布《做，才是得到》

Khenpo Sodargye《Achieve by Doing》

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