禅与心理分析的碰撞（二）

Oscillations:Zen & Psycho-analytic Versions

PAUL C. COOPER

保罗•古柏

One mightattribute the ‘‘out’’ aspect of the experience of oscillations to resistance. Apath taken becomes the many roads not taken. Resistance to what is known canbecome an opening to what remains unknown. Resistance as pure energy,accumulated, and stored, provides the force for smashing through the bedrock ofreified states of self-deception. Regardless of the choice of description,either as resistance, momentum building, or one of an infinite number of permutationsinclusive of both, oscillations continue.

可能有人把碰撞体验的“外”特性归因于对抗。所选的途径变成未选的众多道路。与已知事物的对抗可能会变成通往未知事物的开始。对抗是一种积累贮存的纯粹能量，它为粉碎自欺具体状态之根本提供动力。不论如何描述，作为对抗或动能集合体，或者两者无穷数量排列中的一个，振荡继续发生着。

Time passes,practice continues; Buddhism and psychoanalysis converge, diverge, overlap,dovetail, dissolve and intertwine. Practice engenders shifts in awareness andrelatedness to self and other. Self might be taken more or less seriously,others more or less separately, depending on one’s shifting perceptual vantagepoint.

时光流逝，实践持续进行，佛教与心理分析聚合、分开、重叠、吻合、解离和纠结。实践促使对自他的认知和关联发生转移。自我可能被加强或削弱，他人也变得或远或近，这取决于一个人观点的认知性转变。

Ambivalence, inlight of Buddhist and psychoanalytic process, contains both rough and softedges from mild confusions to deep splits that cut through and divide one’svery core of being. Ambivalence presents itself as imperceptibly slowed-downoscillations which, at the extreme, freeze like a still-frame snapshot andcrack at fault-lines. These cracks can expand into abysmal gaps of forbiddingdepth within the psyche. Psychoanalyst Melanie Klein (1935), for one, speaksgraphically of splits between internal and external reality, creative anddestructive forces, joy, horror, love and hate that derail natural movements.

借助于佛法和心理分析过程，矛盾包括了粗糙 与柔和的边缘，从轻度迷惑到深度分裂，这样的分裂割开并分隔人的的真正核心。矛盾表现极为细微减慢的碰撞，在极端情况下，它会凝固起来如同一张画面静止的快照相片，或者是断层处的裂纹。这些裂纹最后会在精神世界里扩展成深不可测的巨大鸿沟。心理分析师米兰妮·克莱恩（Melanie Klein）生动地讲述了种种分裂，譬如内部现实与外部现实、创造性与破坏性力量、愉悦与恐惧、爱和恨等等，这些情况已经脱离了自然运行轨迹。

In my practice,psychoanalysis and Zen express, become part of, and further natural rhythms.The movements charted by Zen/psychoanalytic oscillations weave together bothlinear and circular elements, as the ongoing expanding and contractingtimelessness of the moment becomes momentous in one’s experience of it.

在我的实践当中，心理分析和禅修推动了自然节律，也变成了其中的一部分。由禅修/心理分析振荡所引发的各种运动将线性和环性元素交织在一起，就像正在扩展和收缩的刹那永恒性，当人们体验它时变得很重要。

Withoutdisregarding the reality of ambivalence, oscillations between the linear andthe circular seem inevitable, normal, necessary aspects of being when notderailed. The natural circularity of life becomes revealed in oscillations.Many forms of circular movement exist: spiralings between definite and infinitethat express inner, outer and in-between rhythms; breathing which revealsrecurring thought patterns, transference-generated repetition compulsions; thecycles of seasons and tides; the endless rounds of chanting, bowing, andsitting meditations. There is the circular movement of patient and therapist inrecurring sessions, the dynamic dramas of transference and countertransference,the emotional unfoldings as patient and therapist endure together the passingdays, months and years. Seekers, patient and therapist alike, begin again andagain each year, each term, each week, each day, each moment in both real andphantasy time in patterns of circularity that crystallize in both the familiarand unfamiliar and then once again dissolve.

不需要忽视矛盾的现实，线性与环状之间的碰撞似乎是人类没有脱离正常轨道时不可避免、正常且必要的方面。生命的自然循环在碰撞中得以显示。有很多类型的循环运动存在：表达内、外、中节律的有限与无限间的盘旋上升；揭示循环性思维模式及迁移所生重复强迫的呼吸；季节与潮汐的周期循环；一遍遍无尽的唱诵、顶礼和静坐。患者与医师间的环状运动，在一次次会面中、在迁移与反迁移的动态剧本中、生在患者于医生共同的情感演变中度过日日、月月和年年。在循环模式的真实与理想中，探索者如患者与医师般，每年、每期、每周、每天、每个刹那都在一次又一次地开始。在熟悉与陌生之间结晶，然后再次溶解。

One point alongthe path of Zen practice that ups the intensity of one’s involvement withoscillations of larger than life proportions occurs during sesshin or silentZen retreat. This point, if we were to magnify it, reveals micro-oscillationswithin a framework not unlike the passing of day and night in the larger flow ofchanging seasons.

在摄心或静默禅修期间，有个点会出现。这个点伴随着禅修之路，反映了涉入大于生命规模的振荡的强度。如果我们能放大它，可以揭示出一个体系框架内部的微小振荡，不是不像季节变迁洪流中的日夜流逝。

Sesshin takesplace in the Zendo. This space is decorated with only the essential ritualitems: a minimal altar, a Buddha, flowers, a candle, and an incense burner. TheZendo feels clean and sparse but not lacking. Round black zafus (cushions) forsitting lay atop larger square cushions and line the Zendo hall in neat orderlyrows. Many of these ritual items reflect a Spartan parsimony and an efficiency ofpurposeful management. A bell signals the beginnings and endings of meditationperiods. Wooden clappers signal the retreat participants to stand up, to walk,and to sit again.

在禅堂里面进行摄心。这个地方仅仅装饰了一些基本的宗教仪式所需的物品，包括一个小型祭坛、一尊佛像、花、一只蜡烛和一个香炉。禅堂感觉起来很干净利落而又空旷，但没有任何不足。黑色的圆坐垫放在一个更大的正方形坐垫上，整整齐齐地一行行排列在禅堂里面。这里的很多宗教物品反映了斯巴达式的简约和目标管理的效率。有只小钟在每一次打坐的开始和结束时会响起，而打板的声音则指示（静坐中）禅修者起立、走动和再次坐下。（译者注：打板，是禅修期间用于指示时间或开始做某件事的信号，具体方法是由某个人在特定时间用木槌敲击一块木板，发出当当的声音。）

In a recalledmemory of a Zen retreat, I enter and feel anxious. The structure evokesunpleasant memories. Perfectly lined up, the zafus remind me of elementaryschool chairs in rows, nailed to the classroom floor. I remember rigidover-regimentation, corporal punishment, grim-faced nuns. The lack of spontaneityin the classroom of my memory engenders deadness. Feelings of ridicule andhumiliation douse my nascent creative sparks. Sadism reigns in the form ofexcessive punishment witnessed by peers and rationalized as sound discipline.Sadism engenders shame and destroys emerging glimpses of self. These longrepressed memories return to me during extended periods of zazen. I begin tosee how they color my present landscape.

我回忆起来，在一次禅修期间，我进入房间，同时感到很紧张。里面的结构唤起了不愉快的记忆。整整齐齐的坐垫使我想起小学学校里整整齐齐固定地板上的凳子，我想起严格的组织管理、体罚、冷着脸的修女们。在我记忆里，教室里没有一点让人感觉自然的地方，这使我灰心丧气。嘲笑和耻辱的感受熄灭了我最初创造性的火花。同伴们有目共睹的虐待成了过度体罚的方式，被合理化为严格的纪律。虐待狂导致了耻辱，并毁坏了正在出现的自我窥视。在随后的坐禅期间，这些长期被压抑着的记忆回到我的脑海，我开始观察它们如何漂染我现在的内心景象。

In the Zendo, amonk circles the hall periodically offering to relieve tense backs and shouldersby striking the meditator with a hardwood stick. Initially, I wince and my bodyshakes in response to the cracking sound. This stick used to release tension isso reminiscent of the stick of my early memory used to punish. I think tomyself: ‘‘Why do I put myself in this horrific situation?’’ Old copingmechanisms that helped me survive elementary school become activated. My mindshifts out of the present, to fantasies, and daydreams. Dissociated mind statesfollow. I feel rebellious. These feelings become an obstacle that gets workedout through Zen practice and deeper familiarity with the process and thestructure.

在禅堂里静坐时，有位出家人定期巡视，并时常以香板（译者注：香板是常见的禅堂工具，是一片大约一米多长的薄木板，用于惩罚或提醒禅修者。）拍打哪些肩背部过于紧张的禅修者，使其放松。一开始，听到香板的啪啪声，我有点害怕，身体开始摇晃起来，因为提醒禅修者放松的香板让我回想起小时候被体罚时用的木板。我不禁想到：“我为什么把自己弄到这个可怕的地方来？”我不禁又开始使用那个帮助我熬过小学痛苦的方法，我的思想从现实飘向幻想和白日梦中，这种脱离状态一直持续着。我感到内心的叛逆。这些感觉变成了我禅修的障碍，并深化了对这个过程和结构的熟悉程度。

Psychoanalyticformulations provide meaning for these dynamics, detailing names and faces asinternal object relations as they become conscious. My early experiences in theparochial school engendered anxiety. These early anxieties became unconsciouslyreified and created fixation points that, in psychoanalysis, become activatedalong with associated self states in similar circumstances.

当它们浮现在脑海里时，心理分析公式将这些动态、详细的名字与面孔规定为内在客体联系的意义，当它们浮现在脑海里时。小时候在教会学校上学时，痛苦的经历使我产生了焦虑。这些小时候的焦虑下意识地实体化了，并且产生了固着点；从心理分析的角度来看，当处于类似的环境中时，这些固着点伴随着相关自我状态一起被激活了。

In the Zendo, Ifind myself feeling like the frightened child anticipating a thrashing with astick. My body becomes tense and my posture rigid as I sense the monk slowlyapproaching. As he passes, I feel relief. Through deeper awareness andinvolvement with these feelings, unconscious aspects are exposed. Reactions,formerly blind, once revealed, can be questioned, examined.

在禅堂里，我发现自己就像一个受了惊吓的小孩，感觉随时都可能会被用木板抽一顿。当我感到师父走近时，我的身体就开始紧张，姿势也僵硬起来。当他走过去了，我马上就感到很释然。我从内心深处观察这些感受，发现了其无意识的根源。一旦揭开了这个秘密，就可以对一开始的盲目反应进行质疑和观察。

However, whennot fully conscious of these processes, I remain caught in an identification betweenthe Zendo and the parochial grammar school. Despite years of analysis,initially, I am caught and I don’t know it.

然而，当还没有完全认识这些心理过程时，我仍然被牵绊在对禅堂和教会语法学校的分析辨别之中。尽管当初分析了好多年，我仍被牵绊而不自知。

With continuedpractice and deepening familiarity with both inner experience and externalstructure juxtaposed, the Zendo space and the discipline of sitting evolvesinto a holding environment that makes it possible for me to do everything I amthere to do. Incidentals and concerns are taken care of through the structureof practice.

持续的禅修使我渐渐熟悉了内部体验和并列的外部结构，禅堂空间和静坐纪律变成可以掌握的环境，这使我渐渐自在起来。练习的组织结构关照了偶然事件和所担心的事情。

I feel like aspiritual fetus (seed) incubating (germinating) and held safely in the room(womb) of the Zendo. Can I ripen and bloom forth at my own pace in my own time?Will the retreat provide a viable option to the suffering-resistant cocoon-likeskin wrapped tightly around my psyche? Eventually, it becomes clear to me thatthere is nothing parochial about the stick or the experience.

我感觉自己像一个精神上的胎儿，安住在禅堂子宫里，被精心地照料着，就像土壤里正在发芽的种子。我能否以自己的节奏来成熟和开花呢？我的内心犹如被紧紧包裹在蚕茧里，拒绝感受外部，禅修能否给这样的内心提供一条可行的出路呢？最终，我很清晰地了知这里根本没有教会学校的板子和体验。

待续

智悲翻译中心

译者：阿游

一校：圆怀

二校：圆悲

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