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怎样学佛，才能断除对死亡的恐惧？

索达吉堪布国际佛学网 2019-10-26

愿人人都能成就所愿——

May everyone’s wishes come true ——

索达吉堪布精彩开示录

Highlights of questions and answers in Khenpo Sodargye’s teachings

老人应该怎样学佛，才能断除对死亡的恐惧？

How shall the elderly practice the Dharma to alleviate their fear of death?

问：我刚学佛不久，接触了佛法之后，我觉得爷爷奶奶非常可怜，

Question: I started my Buddhist studies not too long ago, and since then I have felt sorry for my grandma and grandpa.

因为他们年纪很大了，特别害怕死亡，但又没有信仰，每天都在等死的心态中度过。

They are quite old and dread death immensely. Lacking any religious faith, they pass their days waiting for the inevitable ending.

而藏族的老人非常有信仰，每个人都很快乐。

On the other hand, the Tibetan elders have very strong faith and live a happy life.

请问，汉地老人应该怎样学佛，才能断除对死亡的恐惧？

How should the elderly in Han China practice the Dharma to alleviate their fear of death?

堪布答：你说得很对！

Khenpo: I couldn’t agree more!

我经常也有这种感觉，在我们藏地，很多老人从小就念佛，死时也念佛，所以大多数对死亡并不害怕，只是把它当成换一件衣服而已。

Tibetan elders have always chanted Buddha’s name since they were young and continue to do so until the time of death. I’ve always felt that for them death is nothing to be afraid of; it’s just like changing clothes.

而汉地的很多老人，由于没有信仰，到了临终时，特别恐惧、无依无怙，许多现象看起来非常可怜。

In the Han area, however, most old people don’t have any faith, and they feel utterly helpless and fearful when life is coming to an end. It’s a rather pitiful situation.

其实不管是谁，在不久的将来，都会面临这样的痛苦。

In reality, everyone will have to face the suffering of death in the near future.

那个时候，不知道你有没有一点把握？

At that time, do you even remotely know what to do?

假如我们在年轻时、在有精力思考时，懂得了生老病死的真相，到了那时，内心就会有一分坦然。

If, in our youth when we’re still able, we contemplate the teachings and get to know the truth of birth, sickness, old age, and death, then in the final hours, we will remain calm.

当然，因为环境的影响，有些人可能完全没有这种概念，一下子转过来也比较困难。

Of course, due to their upbringing, some people may not have had any exposure to this view, and without a doubt, it would be difficult to turn their minds around.

但即便你不信佛教，也可以思考一下佛教所讲的道理。

Nonetheless, even as a non-Buddhist, one can still ponder the Buddha’s teachings.

假如它确实言之有理，那为什么不接受呢？

If it makes sense, why reject it?

若能这样多方面观察，并逐渐深入了解佛教，那么在以后面对死亡时，就不会特别无助了。

By investigating from multiple aspects and understanding the Dharma more and more, one will not feel utterly helpless when confronted with death in the future.

否则，一旦等你们老了，才让我讲一个道理，叫你马上就不怕死，这有一定的困难。

On the other hand, if you wait until you are old before requesting a teaching from me that’s going to make you instantly unafraid of death, I doubt that would be feasible.

所以，希望大家对死亡还是要尽早准备。

The point is, I hope you all will make preparations for death as early as you can.

我们应该怎么样对待父母？

How shall we treat our parents?

问：佛教讲“上报四重恩”中，就有一种恩叫父母恩。

Question: Among the Buddhist teachings of “repaying the four kinds of kindness above,” one pertains to the kindness of parents.

但现在很多人对父母有想法，平时对父母的伤害也往往最大。

But many people today have strong opinions about their parents and often hurt them.

请问，我们应该怎么样对待父母？

Can you please tell me how should we treat our parents?

堪布答：报答父母的恩德，对每个人来讲非常重要。

Khenpo: To repay parents’ kindness is crucial for everyone.

按照佛经的观点，即使将父母扛在自己的肩上，转绕整个宇宙，也报答不了父母之恩。

According to the Buddhist viewpoint, our parents’ kindness cannot be fully paid back, even if we were to carry them on our backs and walk around the whole universe.

很多佛经中，都提到了对父母要报恩，当年虚云老和尚三步一拜朝五台山，也是为了报答父母的大恩。

Many Buddhist canons stress filial piety time and again. The very Venerable Xu Yun made a pilgrimage to the Wutai Mountain by making a full prostration every three steps. He did it precisely to repay his parents’ immense kindness.

现实生活中，有些孩子跟最亲近的父母往往冲突最大，这种现象不太好。

In real life, however, children often clash with their parents, and that’s not quite right.

《弟子规》中讲过，父母哪怕不小心做错了什么，也应以柔和的语言跟他沟通，不要惹他生气；

The Standards for Being a Good Pupil and Child teaches that even if parents have made mistakes on occasion, children should talk to them using gentle words instead of inciting their anger.

如果他特别生气了，这时候就不要说，等他心情缓过来了，再慢慢跟他讲；

And in cases where parents lose their temper, children should keep their mouths shut and talk to them only when their anger has abated.

假如实在讲不通，作为子女，也要尽量随顺。

If there’s no way for parents to listen to reasoning, children should still be as accommodating as possible.

有些子女可能因为前世的因缘不好，整天跟父母吵吵闹闹，

There are children who fight with their parents all the time. It could be caused by bad karmic connections in previous lives.

对此，自己一定要忏悔，并要学会理解父母。

In this case, one must repent sincerely and try to understand parents’ feelings.

不管怎么样，父母显现上再不对，子女也不能太过分，而应以一种感恩心来对待他们。

No matter how wrong parents appear to be, children should never cross them but rather treat them with a sense of gratitude.

索达吉堪布《做，才是得到》

Khenpo Sodargye《Achieve by Doing》

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